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The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset

Updated: Feb 20, 2023

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

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How to be an Alpha Male?

Have you ever noticed some men who seem to have it all together?

They have a selection of beautiful women, are in top physical shape, and constantly find wild success in their careers.

It's easy to assume they have some kind of secret advantage or genetic predisposition, but embodying the Alpha male figure is more than just physical strength and appearance. In reality, they are just regular men who are living in harmony with the Alpha male mindset.

The term "alpha male" is associated with confidence, assertiveness, and leadership traits. But what does it truly mean to be an alpha male? And why is the alpha male mindset so important for success in all areas of life?

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

What is the Alpha Male Mindset?

The alpha male mindset is a combination of traits and behaviours that are associated with being courageous in the face of adversity, protecting and providing for loved ones, and the ability to achieve success in all of life’s endeavours.

In this article, we will explore the 12 tenants you'll need to develop the Alpha Male mindset to set you off on the journey to prosperity and how to be an alpha male in any situation life throws at you.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

1. Wake up early

To win the day, you must win the morning.

So, it should come as no surprise that alpha males are proactive and start their day with energy and purpose.

By waking up early, you set a positive tone for the rest of the day and give yourself a head start on your tasks and responsibilities. This maximises productivity and helps you achieve your goals faster with greater efficiency.

Early risers often find themselves to be more creative as they have more time to focus on their own business and personal projects, and building side hustles on top of their main sources of income. It becomes easier to surpass the status quo and experience a more abundant life.

To start waking up early, it's important to establish a consistent sleep schedule. This includes going to bed and waking up at the same time every day. It's also crucial that you create a sleep-conducive environment by keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet, and avoiding screens for at least an hour before bedtime.

Gradually setting your alarm clock earlier each day can also help your body adjust to the new schedule.

For a comprehensive guide to optimise your sleep routine and maximise energy throughout the day, check out this practical E-book that has a range of easy, modern-day tools

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

2. Practice assertive communication

Assertive communication is a way of expressing yourself in a clear and confident manner, while also being respectful of others. It involves being direct and honest, but still requires you to take others' opinions into consideration.

Alpha males are excellent at finding this balance.

One of the key components of this is being able to say "no" when you need to - without feeling guilty or ashamed - being able to ask for what you want, and making your needs known without being aggressive or confrontational.

Another important aspect of assertive communication is being able to assert your opinions and ideas in a confident and clear manner, without worrying about what others will think.

This can be done by using "I" statements, such as "I feel" or "I think", instead of "you" statements, which can come across as accusatory.

Ensuring that you have enough knowledge on certain topics to be able to defend your ideas and opinions is also vital. This will portray you as highly intelligent and makes people more inclined to listen to what you have to say.

Another effective technique to use is the "broken record". This means that you calmly and politely repeat your stance or request in a firm but non-confrontational manner, making sure you maintain eye contact and portray a self assured manner.

To start practicing assertive communication, begin incorporating it into everyday situations, especially with people you feel comfortable around, to build confidence and get familiar with using the correct tone and body language of an alpha male.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

3. True alpha male emotional control

To become an alpha male, you must be in control of the inner feelings and urges that drive you.

True alpha males are emotionally stable and the masters of their own emotions. They understand the importance of managing them to be effective leaders and communicators.

Emotional self-regulation is the ability to manage one's emotions, thoughts and behaviours in different situations. Alpha males are able to stay calm and composed, even in stressful or challenging situations. They understand that emotions can be powerful and that if they are not managed properly, they can have a negative impact on their lives.

One of the key components of emotional self-regulation is awareness. This means being able to identify and label your emotions, and understand how they are affecting you.

Once you know this on a deeper level, you can start to manage them more effectively.

Another important aspect of emotional self-regulation is learning how to cope with difficult emotions. This can be done by using different coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or exercise. It also involves learning how to reframe your thoughts, and change your perspective on a situation in a way that makes it less stressful or personal.

Learning how to express your emotions in a healthy way is another tendency of an alpha male.

This doesn't mean you have to become one of those nice guys who says 'yes' to everything and never truly gets his own way. It's about being able to express your true feelings without hurting others, or without repressing them to the point of becoming harmful to yourself.

Beta males don't express their emotion very well; typically unleashing their pent up anger and resentment onto a loved one or an innocent person who doesn't deserve it. This alone makes mastering emotions one of the most important alpha traits you can develop.

To start managing your emotions, it's important to become aware of them and to identify triggers that make you feel a certain way. Once you develop your awareness, you can start to use different coping mechanisms - an example being mindfulness meditations, which can help you to stay calm and focused, even in stressful situations.

Additionally, learning how to communicate your emotions in a healthy way can also help you to manage your inner feelings that arise more effectively.

A book that changed my whole perspective on this topic and created a huge shift in my mindset was 'Finding Freedom; The Young Man's guide'

I recommend it to anyone trying to dig deeper, take charge of their emotions, and stop living as a slave to their impulses.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

4. Exercise regularly

Physical fitness is not only important, but necessary, to become an alpha male.

Regular exercise is beneficial for both physical and mental well-being, and helps to build confidence. It is also great at improving focus and concentration, which are valuable assets in both personal and professional settings.

The physical benefits are undeniable, such as: improving cardiovascular health, building and maintaining muscle mass, and strengthening bones. Additionally, it can also help to improve your overall appearance which can boost your confidence and self-esteem... oh, and the number of women attracted to you.

Exercise also has several benefits for your mental health. It releases endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that act as natural painkillers and mood elevators. This can help to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and improve your overall well-being. Additionally, regular exercise can also improve your cognitive function, including memory, focus and concentration.

Consistently making tough decisions and sticking by them requires discipline and self-control, and will help you transition into a true alpha male and climb up the social hierarchy.

To start exercising regularly, it's important to find an activity that you enjoy and that fits into your lifestyle. You can start by taking a walk or jog around your area, going for a bike ride, or joining a gym or sports team. It's also important to set realistic goals and to make a schedule that you can stick to.

Here is some excellent material to boost your motivation and discipline around exercise.

And a useful video anyone can follow for a workout structure.

Always remember to listen to your body and don't push yourself too hard, as this can lead to injury.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

5. Surround yourself with other alpha males

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" - Jim Rohn.

Alpha males surround themselves with other successful people who can offer guidance and mentorship, which helps them grow and improve.

One of the most significant benefits of surrounding yourself with successful people is that they can serve as role models and sources of inspiration. Seeing others who have achieved success can help you to believe that it is possible for you as well, and can provide you with the motivation to work towards your own goals.

Being around these people also increases your ability to network. They give you access to valuable resources and connections that you might not otherwise get if you're trying to do everything alone. A better social group leads to more opportunities, more money, and more abundance.

More accomplished people tend to offer constructive feedback and critiques, which can help you to see your own strengths and weaknesses and improve upon them. They can also provide you with new perspectives and ideas, which will help you to think more creatively and innovatively.

To start surrounding yourself with successful people, begin to identify people in your life who are already successful and reach out to them for guidance and mentorship. You can also join professional organizations, networking groups, or clubs, where you can meet other successful people who share your interests.

Additionally, attending conferences, seminars, and events is also a great way to meet successful people and learn from them.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

6. Eating healthy

Eating a healthy diet is a crucial aspect of self-care and an essential component of becoming an alpha male.

"You are what you eat" rings true once you realise that the body uses the nutrients from the foods we eat to provide energy and functionality to every cell in our body.

Eating a balanced diet is not only important for maintaining a healthy weight and physique, but it also plays a vital role in maintaining overall health and well-being. When you eat healthy, you have more energy, you feel better and you can perform better.

In order to become an alpha male, you need to take control of your life and make conscious choices that will benefit your well-being. This includes choosing nutrient-dense foods that will fuel your body and give you the energy you need to tackle your daily tasks.

Eating a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats will provide your body with the essential nutrients it needs to function at its best. It will also reduce your risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease and diabetes, which can greatly impact your ability to live a fulfilling life.

Alpha men understand the importance of taking care of their bodies, and they make it a priority in their daily lives. They understand that eating a healthy diet is not a short-term fix, it's a lifestyle choice that will benefit them for their entire life. Eating healthy is not only about looking good, it's about feeling good and having the energy to experience life to the fullest.

By making healthy eating a priority, you can become the alpha male you've always wanted to be.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

7. Cold showers

Taking cold showers is a simple yet effective way to become an alpha male and change your life. Successful alpha males are known for their discipline, resilience and ability to push themselves to the limit, and taking cold showers is a great way to develop these traits.

Cold showers have been used for centuries to improve physical and mental performance, and many elite athletes swear by their benefits.

One of the main benefits of taking cold showers is that it improves blood circulation and strengthens the immune system. Cold water constricts blood vessels, and when you get out of the shower, the blood vessels dilate, which helps to improve circulation and oxygenate the body. This can help you to feel energized and focused, which is especially beneficial if you have a busy schedule or need to perform at a high level.

"Seek discomfort or discomfort will seek you"

Much like regular exercise, the benefits of cold showers go beyond the physical; an example being the significant improvement to your mental toughness.

Cold water can be uncomfortable and challenging, but by pushing yourself to take one, you are building resilience and determination to overcome challenges and obstacles in your personal and professional life. It also helps to develop the mental fortitude that is necessary to find happiness, success and to attain alpha traits.

Taking cold showers also has a positive impact on your overall well-being. Cold water stimulates the release of endorphins, which are known as the "feel-good" hormones. This can help to improve your mood and make you feel more positive and motivated.

It's a small habit that can have a big impact on your personal growth. Making the effort to take cold showers is a powerful way to tap into the alpha male within you.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

8. Take charge in difficult situations

Stop waiting for the perfect moment to stand up and be the top dog.

Alpha males are natural leaders and take charge when things get tough. They are not afraid to step up and take full responsibility on their shoulders when needed, which earns them the respect of those around them.

This is a defining trait of alpha men and alpha leaders.

Develop your ability to remain calm and composed under pressure, and take charge when others are struggling. Whether it's in a personal or professional setting, it remains a clear indication of a strong, highly confident person, and is a key aspect of climbing the socio sexual hierarchy.

Alpha men are not afraid to take risks and make tough decisions. They understand that leadership is not about being popular, but about making the right choices and being accountable for the consequences.

They are confident in their abilities and are not afraid to take the lead when others are hesitant, even if it means going against the crowd.

Being able to assess the situation and make decisions quickly without getting bogged down by emotions or self-doubt allows them to remain in control and guide others through difficult times in life.

Developing this trait requires practice and willingness to put yourself in challenging scenarios. It also requires a strong sense of self-awareness and the ability to remain calm and composed under pressure. By developing these skills, you can become a true alpha leader, respected and admired by others for your ability to take charge in the battle of life.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

9. Read and learn every day

Alpha males are always looking to improve themselves and learn new things.

One of the key benefits of continuous learning is that it can help you to stay competitive in the job market. As society is constantly evolving, it's important to have a diverse set of skills and knowledge that can help you to stand out in a career, as well as your social groups.

Additionally, learning new skills can also open new opportunities, and help you to move up the career ladder.

Continuous learning also has personal benefits, such as improving problem-solving skills, cognitive function, and creativity. It helps to build self-confidence, as you are constantly challenging yourself and learning new things.

Alpha males, in particular, are able to quickly adapt to change, whether it be in their personal or professional lives. The ability to learn new skills and readjust to new situations allows them to be more resilient and better equipped to handle whatever challenges may come their way in life.

Whether it's reading a self care book, learning another language, or taking a mixed martial arts class, true alphas are constantly seeking new ways to improve themselves and their knowledge - and so should you.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

10. Manage your finances

Alpha males are financially responsible and manage their money effectively. They understand the importance of budgeting, saving, and investing, which helps them to have financial stability and security for the people they protect and provide for. It also means more women will see them as a potential partner over other men.

Real alpha men understand the importance of creating and sticking to a budget, which helps them to control their spending and ensure that they have enough money to cover their expenses. A budget allows them to prioritize their expenses and make sure that they are allocating their money in a way that aligns with their financial goals.

Making a habit of regularly setting aside a portion of their income for savings, whether it be for short-term or long-term goals, helps them to prepare for unexpected expenses, have a safety net for emergencies and also for their retirement.

But saving money was not how Bill Gates made his fortunes.

Investing is also an important habit of alpha males. They understand that investing money can help to grow their wealth and achieve financial independence. They invest in a variety of investment vehicles, such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and real estate, which helps them diversify their portfolio and manage risk.

To start managing your finances, it's important to create a budget, and to make sure that you are sticking to it. It's also important to set financial goals, both short-term and long-term, and to make a plan to achieve them. Additionally, it's important to educate yourself on personal finance, and to seek professional advice when necessary. 7 money management tips all alpha men should use for life.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

11. Set and achieve goals

Alpha males are driven and have a clear sense of purpose, which helps them to achieve their goals and find true fulfilment in life.

One of the key benefits of setting and achieving goals is that it provides direction and focus. Alpha males have a clear idea of what they want to achieve, and they use this as a guide to make decisions and take action.

This helps them to stay on task and avoid distractions that can prevent them from achieving their objectives.

Another benefit of setting and achieving goals is that it provides motivation. Alpha males are self-motivated, and setting and achieving goals gives them a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. This helps them to stay highly ambitious and continue working towards their objectives to improve themselves.

Setting and achieving goals also helps to build self-discipline and self control. By committing to a goal and working towards it, they are consistently demonstrating these traits, which helps them to be more effective in other areas of their lives.

To start setting and achieving goals, it's important to identify your values, what you want to achieve, and what your priorities are. Then, you can set specific, measurable, and achievable goals, and create a plan to achieve them. It's also important to review your progress regularly, and adjust your plan as necessary.

Additionally, it's important to celebrate your achievements to ensure you stay motivated and keep a clear vision.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men

12. Embrace a growth mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that one can develop and improve their abilities through dedication and hard work.

A true alpha male understands that they are not fixed in their abilities, always looking to improve themselves and open to learning new things.

They also accept that failure is a part of growth, and are willing to take risks and try new things in order to improve themselves. They do not fear failure and they're not afraid of falling down; for they trust themselves to get up and keep going no matter what happens in life.

Embracing a growth mindset is that it allows you to see challenges and failures as opportunities for learning and growth. Alpha males don't see failure as a setback, but as a chance to learn, grow and improve. This mindset helps them to be resilient in the face of challenges and to not give up when things get tough.

This is what sets them apart from other men.

Maintaining this mindset also helps to foster a sense of curiosity and a desire to learn. Alpha males are always looking to learn new skills, acquire new knowledge, and push themselves to be better. They are not content with staying stagnant, and they are willing to step out of their comfort zone to pursue new opportunities and experiences.

Another important aspect of embracing a growth mindset is the ability to learn from feedback and criticism. Alpha males are not defensive when receiving feedback, they are open to constructive criticism, and see it as an opportunity to improve. They understand that feedback is an essential tool for growth, and they are willing to take it on board and make the necessary changes.

Pro tip: it's important to focus on the process, not the outcome.

Instead of focusing on the end result, focus on the journey of life and what you can learn along the way. Be open to new experiences and be willing to take risks.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men


In conclusion, becoming an alpha male is a process that takes time and effort. It's not just about physical appearance or wealth, it's about developing the right mindset and behaviours that inspire respect and admiration from others.

The key is to work on yourself in all areas of your life, from your physical fitness to your professional development, to build the confidence and assertiveness that are the hallmarks of alpha men.

Don't fall into the trap that is set for beta males by eating poorly, being afraid to talk to women, and avoiding challenges in life.

Seek out hard things, imitate the best alpha male role models, pursue women and sexual partners, develop self control, get around the top dogs and unleash the alpha that is waiting to be freed inside of you.

The 12 Tenants of the Alpha Male Mindset | Self-development and Personal Growth for men


What does it mean to be an alpha male?

The term alpha male is used to describe a man who is confident, assertive, and successful in his personal and professional life.

He is typically viewed as a leader and role model among his peers, respected by men and women alike, and take charge in situations, especially ones involving beta males.

How do I become an alpha male?

The best ways to work on becoming more alpha include developing your confidence, improving your communication skills, setting and achieving goals, and taking on leadership roles.

Additionally, working on your physical fitness and appearance can also help you to project an alpha image and attain more women.

This is the process on how to be an alpha male.

What are some traits of an alpha male?

Some alpha male traits are: confidence, assertiveness, self-reliance, independence, leadership, self control, ambitious, knowledge of self defence and good social skills (an example being nonverbal cues and high on the socio sexual hierarchy).

Develop these alpha male characteristics to see great change in your life and become the alpha guy.

What are some beta male traits?

Beta males tend to go where life takes them, without much drive or purpose.

They lack confidence and leadership, are physically and mentally weak, less successful, are passive to the alpha in all situations, have poor focus and a low attention span, commonly known as the 'nice guy' that people tend to walk all over, and tend to blend in instead of stand out in life.

They live life the opposite to how an alpha does.

Is it possible for anyone to become an alpha male?

Yes, it is possible for anyone to develop the traits and characteristics of an alpha.

However, it may be more difficult for some individuals due to their personality, upbringing, or other factors in their life.

Are alpha males attractive?

Alphas tend to be considered attractive due to their confidence, assertiveness and leadership qualities.

They are seen as strong and capable, which women subconsciously look for as it suggests protection for them and their children.

However, being an alpha male does not guarantee attractiveness as it's not just about physical appearance, but also about one's behaviour, attitude, and overall demeanour.

Is being an alpha male always positive?

While many people view being an alpha male as a positive trait, this is only true up to a point. It can have negative consequences if not handled properly.

For example, being too aggressive or domineering can lead to conflicts and relationship problems.

It's important to strive for a balance of assertiveness and empathy.

Are there any specific things I should do to maintain my alpha status?

To maintain your alpha status, it is important to continue to develop and improve yourself in all areas of your life.

This may include working on your physical fitness, continuing to learn and grow professionally, and building and maintaining healthy relationships.

Additionally, it is important to maintain a healthy balance of assertiveness and empathy in your interactions with others.

What is a delta male/beta males /gamma male?

The opposite of an alpha.

A male without an authoritative position or role in social or group hierarchy.

A beta male is inferior to alpha men, typically have lower incomes and career positions, receive less attention from women, and are less successful in life on average.

How do alpha males talk?

An alpha tend to speak with confidence, assertiveness and authority.

They use a clear, direct and unhesitant language and communicate their ideas, opinions, and to get their point across.

They are also good listeners and actively engage in conversation, being charismatic, persuasive and influential in their communication style.

How to develop the alpha male mindset?

  1. Build self-confidence

  2. Set clear goals

  3. Control emotions

  4. Be assertive

  5. Improve physicality

  6. Take on leadership roles

  7. Enhance communication skills

  8. Be decisive

  9. Manage stress

  10. Continuously improve

Alpha male mentors?

  1. Marcus Aurelius (book called 'Meditations')

  2. Jocko Willink (podcast)

  3. David Goggins ('Can't Hurt Me' book)

  4. Bruce Lee

  5. Michael Jordan

  6. Ido Portal

  7. Tony Robbins

  8. Leonidas 1st

  9. Audie Murphy

  10. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Relevant Sources to learn more

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